Acceptance. A word everyone loves, but yet can be the most hardest thing to achieve.
If you think about it, acceptance is so important and apparent in our everyday lives (or it needs to be apparent). We are born and welcomed by our society, our families, school, friends, jobs….it’s an endless cycle of life events where we all achieve and need acceptance in these areas. Sometimes it isn’t always easy; to get accepted into that top university, or feel like you’re accepted by the “cool crowd”, or by your boss; but we carry on and do our best to achieve this success.
What we don’t realize sometimes if the most important type of acceptance; self acceptance.
Many people go through hard times, making mistakes and regretting past decisions. Others deal with mental and physical illness where its hard for them to get out of bed, and you just ask “why me? Why do I have to deal with this?” You may feel like it’s only you and everyone else has it figured out, but that’s not true. People may not struggle in the same way, but they have their own troubles and worries where they ask the same question. People may seem happy on Facebook and post positive things, but research has shown people only appear to be happy and put together. In reality, they are human just like you. So the next time you get livid looking at how perfect everyone looks on Facebook while your life is a mess, realize they may feel just like you, and see it as a nice platform where peoples positivism shines through.(Read more on the facebook study here)
Have other people’s blithe Facebook updates ever made you feel like a total loser? Or have you ever felt that your best friend’s life is perfectly easy and joyful, while yours is nothing but struggle and anxiety? You’re not alone.
I recently read an amazing book called “The World We Have” by Thich Nhat Hanh and in the book they spoke of a Vietnamese nun that was that was diagnosed with terminal cancer and only had a few months left to live. Accepting her fate she went to a Buddhist temple to live out her final months. She miraculously recovered and lived a full cancer free life. How could that be? Hanh writes that she found peace by accepting her diagnosis…. “and with that peace you can sometimes continue to live.” It goes to show how important acceptance can be.
You have to tell yourself in the mirror and say (as my sisters best friend says) “I am fucking awesome” (excuse the language). You have to believe you are awesome, and own your mistakes problems and imperfections and learn from them. Use your struggles to help others, and find friends and activities that make you feel whole and productive. If you feel you need to work through some things and overcome some obstacles in your life, consult with your doctor or psychologist and find concrete ways to overcome your struggles. Acceptance comes from within, but doesn’t mean you can’t have love and support along the way. We may all be one person, and live life for us, but only we can help ourselves. Being mono doesn’t mean you do it alone. Talk to family, talk to friends, volunteer with a cause that is important to you. Do anything to get clarity on your situation, and it will help.
I myself have had a hard time accepting myself over the years. Everyone has always said I was sensitive,and I always thought of it negatively, but then I realized, being sensitive also helps me in a positive way, as I am very perceptive of others peoples feelings and am extremely empathetic and compassionate to those who struggle. I now just tell myself “there is nothing wrong with feeling this way”, “I am me and no one else”, “I cannot be someone I am not” “I’m going to take advantage of what life has given me”.”I’m going to accept me for me, and if people don’t like me, then they are not worth my time”.
I’ve realized I am very compassionate to others, but not to myself…how strange. I think it’s time we all developed a little self compassion….let’s be nice to ourselves!
It is also good to recognize when you are wrong, and learn from mistakes but you have to accept your mistakes, accept you are wrong and say “I will learn from this” That in itself is accepting yourself and making a change for the better.
Self Acceptance is key to feeling better and being able to overcome lifes challenges, especially if you have a mental or physical illness. Life isn’t fair sometimes, but if you think about it life ins’t fair for everyone, so in a way that is fair! We all go through it. The key to getting better mentally and physically is to accept your circumstance, and then move on and get the support and guidance you need to get better and succeed. Acceptance comes from you, and is a huge aspect to the mono lifestyle. Only you can do it. So why not today?
It wasn’t supposed to be this way! How do you find your way toward acceptance? When a marriage crumbles, no one rejoices. The dream of happily ever after dies with a struggle on the part of both husband and wife. One might fight hard; another might shut down, or avoid and seek comfort elsewhere. Read…