Overthinking Anyone?

Do you ever find yourself awake at 3 AM thinking about that embarrassing thing you did ten years ago? If no, you may find this ridiculous but if you’re someone like me you’ll understand the torment! I constantly suffer from obsessive thinking/worrying and I have to say it is exhausting!

I’m not sure why I worry the way I do. I’m always so concerned how I come across to others (so I guess I care too much about what people think), but it’s not that I have no confidence in myself I just hate when my character is judged. I like to think I’m a nice person that can do no wrong, but of course this isn’t true for anyone. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of, whether it was simply embarrassing or just a mistake, but for me it stays with me.

I remember one time I was on a school trip to Prague. I didn’t know anyone on the trip but I always wanted to go to Prague so I decided to go by myself and meet new people. It ended up being the worst trip ever! I did love the city and the things we did but the people were just terrible and I felt very stressed around them. Whenever I would talk to someone they would pretty much ignore me and hang out with their other friends which I found odd as most people from our school were very inclusive. Not only was I ignored but I was teased for making conversations. They said that Canadians made them uncomfortable because we talk too much. In my defense (in this particular instance) we were at a restaurant at a table for two hours. Was I supposed to sit across from them and be silent the whole time? I was just trying to be friendly by asking them where they were from and what courses they were taking in school. I don’t think that’s being that nosy! I felt so humiliated! To top it all off our bus got in an accident on the way back from Prague. The bus drive went on the wrong exit and decided to back up on the freeway instead of turning around at the next exit! A car ended up hitting us. We were all okay but it held us up for three hours and we almost missed our ferry! The icing on the cake was when I tried to get some sleep. I was trying to lay down across two bus seats and felt the seatbelt tighten on my stomach. Due to the tight belt I let out a fart that was definitely heard by some of my bus mates and I almost died.

This trip was three years ago and I still think about how embarrassing it was! I am never going to see those people again and I feel so stressed thinking about it. Now that is definitely ridiculous.

Lately though whenever I find myself going down the overthinking road of doom I try these tips to help calm my worried state.

  1. Talk it out, or write it out. It helps me to vocalize my feeling so it doesn’t consume me. If you don’t want to tell anyone you can always write in a journal to clear your head. It always does the trick.
  1. Self-assure. Tell yourself “it’s okay what happened”. Learn from it next time if it was a mistake or if it was embarrassing find a way to laugh about it and move on. If you cannot self-assure trying getting reassurance from someone else but don’t keep rehashing.
  1. Distract yourself. When you start to have those thoughts try to think of something else or do an activity that de-stresses you. Working out or reading always helps me.
  1. Find common humanity. Remember everyone has these moments in life! You are not alone!

I can’t stress (lol), the last one more. We all will commit stupid embarrassing things sometimes. It’s going to happen, it’s part of life. But we have to learn to be kind to ourselves and move on from them or else we will not be able to lead a happy life. Only you have the power to fight these feelings and see yourself for who you really are, a good person. If you have done bad things, you can always start fresh and make amends. It’s never too late. So let’s stop obsessing and start de-stressing!

An Ode to my favourite TV show

Okay, I admit it. I’m a TV fanatic. I love it all, from the cheesy Disney channel shows to AMCs walking dead…there is something just enthralling about television and how it can pull your mind body and spirit into every moment. It’s amazing to think of all the writers out there who can tell a story and have it be conveyed so well that it just brings you to tears or extreme happiness. Whatever feelings arise, it always feels like I am somewhat part of it all, when in reality I’m just sitting at home alone in front of my flat screen. It may sound ridiculous, and you may be wondering this girl has no life, but in fact yes I do have a life! I graduated university, have a full time job, have experienced meaningful relationships and have travelled the world. I know what’s out there and the possibilities that await any person.  But of course some things can’t always be a reality, and life can sometimes get in the way of accomplishing our dreams or seeing possibilities for ourselves. It’s our imagination that gets us through each day. Thinking of the what ifs, even if it always stays imaginary. That’s why television can be uplifting. It puts imaginary into somewhat of a reality. Of course it’s fictional, but in that moment it seems real, and it gives insight into your own life and what you want.

We all have that one TV we are obsessed with (unless of course you hate TV). My obsession for the past eight years has been the Vampire Diaries. I know what you must be thinking, but hear me out.

Although, everyone always teases that I watch the Vampire Diaries, 80% of people that make fun have not seen a single episode, and fail to realize that the show was always in the top ten for most popular TV shows even during hiatus. It may seem like a cheesy typical vampire flick (which it is) but it also has amazing writers, cast and character development. It helps too that the cast and crew are the most spirited and hilarious group I’ve ever encountered!

But anyway, this show commenced its first season fall of 2009 and since it was a CW show I definitely tuned in to see what it was all about. It starts off as dark and mysterious…a vampire returning to his hometown, and a lonely grieving girl who has lost a great deal. It then continues and you get to know the charm of their town Mystic Falls, and all the people in the community. There was a lot of buzz on how the show would be received, as the books written by L.J. Smith were very popular, and the characters had a particular look and feel. Nina Dobrev may not have been blonde as everyone wished, but she sure blew everyone away when she auditioned for the part of Elena Gilbert. And soon, the others were cast and were all brilliant. I was always curious as to what went on when brainstorming for each episode, and who had the final decision on every snarky remark Damon Salvatore made, or hilarious commentary by Caroline Forbes, but after watching episode after episode it always drew me in more and more.

In 2009, I had to take time off from university and I felt that maybe I would not be able to accomplish my goals in life. When I moved home, I couldn’t work, or go out much because of extreme exhaustion, and all I had that I could do was rest and obviously watch TV. So  since I was home by the TV so much I decided tuned into something new. Watching the vampire diaries pulled me out of my depression and gave me something to look forward to every week.

As the seasons continued, we are introduced to many plot-lines and cliff hangers. There is tons of heartbreak and loss, but the characters only grow stronger from it. They all learn to lean on each other, and they are always there for one another. I always wished I could experience such powerful relationships like theirs, but now that I have lived abroad and now have moved home I realize I have found that. I have friends that will be there no matter what, and have found love many people dream of. The love I experienced may not have been a passionate love triangle between two brothers (swoon) but it was just as consuming and really has shaped who I am today. The characters in the show have lost so much, but yet instead of dwelling on the past and things they have lost, they moved forward and measure their life in love and sometimes even throw in a joke or two about their hardships.

Not only does the show focus on powerful relationships, but it also represents how the impossible can be possible. Every day I dream of possibilities for myself, and maybe I may not be able to achieve every dream I have, but sometimes what seems impossible can sometimes become reality. It’s about how you look at it and how you go about it. You can really achieve some form of your dreams if you really try. Even though the Vampire Diaries it is just a tv show (and probably anyone who would have to go through what they went through would have to be admitted) I still admire their perseverance, how they conquer their fears, achieve their goals and see the world for what it is. Once you see what is right in front of you, the possibilities are endless.

It’s now been 8 years since the Vampire Diaries premiered and now this week it comes to an end. I will surely miss the weekly antics of the cast, crew and of course the dedicated fans who made the past 8 years so entertaining!

The next time you feel down in the dumps due to whatever life has thrown your way, tune into your favourite show or movie. Even though most often what you’re watching is fictional, embrace it. It will help you to discover what you’re truly passionate about and what you aspire to be. When you get excited about a particular plot or identify with a particular character ask yourself why. It may seem silly because it’s just a TV show, but it can really open your eyes to creativity, positivity, new relationships and experiences; all with the click of the remote.